Let's Talk About Inner Peace

“…the adjustment for me isn't, ‘How do I do this on my own?’ But, ‘HOW do I do this, without them here?"

Last night, was the first night, I genuinely felt P E A C E.

Andy, Ki, Ava, and I went to the Night Market at Titletown. They had a local band playing country songs and we spent 3 hours running up and down the hill and dancing well into the evening.

There were random strangers come up to us telling me how beautiful my family was, how happy we looked and how they could FEEL the love radiate.

I'll tell you what, nobody prepares you for the battle of becoming a single parent...but I've been a single parent, maybe not FINANCIALLY the whole time, but physically, emotionally and mentally, I have been a single parent.

I was the one who gave up their career. The one who was up EVERY SINGLE night, all night, to feed, change diapers and rock them back to sleep, the one who brought them to all of their appointments, talked them through how they were feeling, taught them how to be kind and loving little humans...

So the adjustment for me isn't, "How do I do this on my own?" But, "HOW do I do this, without them here?"

I finally had time to REFLECT on my life and what I had just gone through. I've learned more about who I am as a person through this entire experience and although the circumstances that GOT ME HERE were absolutely painful, hurtful and terrifying, I'm so damn blessed for it all...

Because...these experiences? They have made me a MUCH better mom, friend and overall human being.

You have to recognize, that no matter WHAT you have gone through, no matter what you have faced, if GOD allowed it INTO YOUR LIFE, it's because YOU can survive it and HE can redeem it.

Be BRAVE. Invest into yourself and LOVE wholeheartedly.

xoAsh