#breakthesilence
LET’S HELP OTHERS BREAK THE SILENCE
Abuse is often characterized by sexual or physical violence...it is often DEFINED by the bruises, marks or scars left behind on another person's body.
Psychological/emotional and financial abuse is often dismissed or unrecognized by law enforcement, the judicial system and those PROTECTING the abusers (enablers)
Victims often form these things called - trauma bonds - towards their abusers. Which in turn may cause EXTREME mental health declines, feelings of chaos, INTENSE sadness and/or anger (feelings of RAGE) Victims will often be extremely reactive and be seen as the abusers themselves due to the nature and extremity of the abuse portrayed. GASLIGHTING, love-bombing, blame shifting are all a part of this process.
The cases of this type of abuse are often underreported by both men and women. AND in MOST cases of REPORTED abuse, the forms of abuse will ESCALATE and may turn physical/dangerous especially when a person starts to become educated on how to identify COVERT ABUSE.
70% of women murdered by their partners in DV cases occurred after the partner left the relationship and NO SIGNS of physical abuse was EVER reported...
So, why is it so hard to leave something behind that causes you so much grief and pain? BECAUSE of something we identify as TRAUMA BONDING.
Trauma Bonding
The relationship is ALL highs and lows (the highs are HIGH, lows are LOW)
You don't think you can survive without this person
You hate them AND love them
The other person's needs are more important than your own
You stop reacting to unacceptable behavior
You think if someone changes everything will automatically get better
You believe that NO ONE else will want you, so you stay out of fear
Healthy Bonding
The relationship feels steady with some dips
You recognize that you are your own person
You love them even when you are angry
Both your needs are important and respected
There are boundaries and trust
You focus on growing separately and together
Honest communication
Your needs are met
How can I HEAL a Trauma Bond?
Setting boundaries and sticking to them
Learning how to self-soothe/incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine
Lowering your tolerance for CHAOS in relationships, INCLUDING friendships
Developing awareness of your beliefs around love/relationships
Detaching from others' emotional limitations
Moving slowly in intimate relationships & acknowledging the red flags
Spending time getting to know YOURSELF (wants/needs, your own red flags and limitations)
BREAKING THE SILENCE - tell people
If you or someone you know is experiencing signs of a trauma bond, please send this to them.
If you need IMMEDIATE ASSISTANCE please contact the following...
DV Hotline: 1-800-799-7233